Vacation Check List!

So you're heading out of town and you've booked a sitter. Awesome! Now let’s make sure things go smoothly for your fuzzy babies while you’re gone. Here's how to set your sitter up for success so their visits don't turn into a scavenger hunt for cat food.

1. Reality Check That Pet Profile

You've filled out all the necessary fields in your pet sitter's app...but that was three years ago! (I use Precise Pet Care) Check your account profile and PLEASE update if outdated. Because if your profile says your cat “free-feeds” and I show up to find a locked kibble bin that says, KEEP OUT, 'Houston, we've got a problem.'

So before you jet off—check the info. Update it. Easy-peasy lemon squeezy!

2. Leave Food & Supplies Where I Can Find Them

Yes your profile tells me the canned food is 'under the third cabinet to the left of the troll that looks like a garden gnome and the secret password is Fahrvergnugen.' However, be nice to your pet sitter...Please leave all food, treat and medications (clearly labeled with CLEAR instructions), litter, leashes, poop bags, instructions, etc. out in the open where we can find them. We'd rather not embark on an epic odyssey to find the lost treasure of Purina.

3. Stock Up on Cleaning Supplies

I’m not saying there will be an accident...but 9 times out of 10 pets will leave their best surprises for when you’re gone. Paper towels, pet-safe cleaners, trash bags, brooms and vacuum cleaners. Leave 'em where I can find them. I’m good, but I can’t MacGyver a clean-up with toilet paper and Comet.

4. Give the Place a Once-Over (Especially for Overnights)

No need to roll out the red carpet but if I’m staying overnight, a clean space goes a long way. You don’t need to scrub grout with a toothbrush. Just don’t leave me a science experiment in the shower or dishes in the sink that doubles as Oscar the Grouch's second home. Sitters operate better within a clean environment.

5. No Surprise Guests. Seriously.

Your cousin dropping by “just to check on things” or your neighbor watering the plants might sound harmless but to me and your pets, it’s just a stranger suddenly showing up and possibly opening the door. Which is stressful for everyone, especially if I’m in my pajamas eating an entire Domino's pizza. (It’s happened.) Cuz I'm quick to call the cops on any and everybody! I don't care if they're Fido's play Auntie once removed.

Help Me, Help You:

A little prep means happier pets, a calmer sitter, and no frantic texts while you’re poolside. Everybody wins!

I Can't Care More Than You. But I'll Still Quietly Judge You!

During the first couple years of my pet sitting business, I equated being a great pet sitter with being a Judgmental Auntie at Thanksgiving!

It wasn’t long before I found myself chastising clients for what I considered basic pet care lapses. Dirty food bowls? Overgrown nails? A smell coming off the dog that could be used as a biological weapon? I took it personally.

I'd show up to take care of a dog or cat and leave feeling like I needed to stage an intervention. “Have you considered…giving Muffin a bath?” I’d say gently, while my eyes screamed, for the love of God, do something about the stench!

But here’s what I’ve learned over the years: I can’t care more than they do. And even if I do, it doesn’t mean they’re going to suddenly change because their dog walker gave them a polite nudge and a bottle of dog shampoo.

Now, if I notice something’s off, long nails, matted fur, green fuzz growing in the water bowl...I mention it once. That’s it. OK, maybe twice. I make my closing argument and leave the decision up to a jury of two. I have to remember I am not Johnnie Cochran. I’m the pet sitter. And my job is to keep their furry family member happy, safe, and well cared for. Not to make them feel like they're being subjected to scrutiny by the D.P.S. (Dog Protective Services).

However, 9 times out of 10, they do something about it. Eventually. Maybe not after my first gentle heads-up, but at some point, they’ll text me saying, “Hey! We finally trimmed Bella’s nails!” 

For the past several years I've been leading with compassion, grace, and just enough sarcasm to keep myself entertained. Because being a great pet sitter doesn’t mean fixing everything, it means showing up, doing your best, and understanding that people love their pets in their own messy, imperfect way 💖 - while I continue silently judging them.😂

Dogwalkers On Walks Having Talks

A well-known 'secret' about professional pet sitters is that we have full-on, in-depth conversations with the pets we take care of. I’m not talking about the casual, “Who’s a good boy?” or “Did you miss me?” No, I mean real conversations — the kind that veer into existential therapy sessions. And of course there's the occasional full Broadway production of made-up songs and dances we do for your fuzzy babies.

Some mornings, a dog and I might tackle big meaningful questions: What is the meaning of life? Why do humans put clothes on dogs? Is squirrel-chasing a primal reaction or a random act of violence? Other times, our chats are far more…biological. I’ll offer heartfelt congratulations for a truly impressive poo. I’ll reassure them that a quick pee is fine if it’s raining. I’ll praise their aim like they just won Olympic gold in Urine Stream Targeting.

Here’s the problem: I never want to be caught having these conversations. It’s not that I’m ashamed of the pets, they’re wonderful. I’m just not ready for a human being to overhear me saying, “That was a USDA Grade A poopie, buddy! You should be proud!”

And yet… it happens.

There’s nothing quite like realizing a neighbor has been standing across the street while you’ve been saying, “Ooo lookit that squirrel! You see that squirrel Fido?! Bettah get outta here Mr. Squirrel! Ain't no nuts down here!"

The embarrassment is immediate. All I can do is smile and keep walking. No need to pretend I'm practicing for an improv class I’m not actually in.

But I’ll keep having these conversations. Because pets don’t just hear us; they listen. They don’t roll their eyes when you overshare. They don’t tell you to stop talking about bodily functions. And in their own way, they answer back.

So if you ever catch me having a deep, meaningful heart-to-heart with your dog, just know this: we’re not crazy. We’re just very, very close friends.

POOP HOOPS!

Walking dogs every day is a dream job! But like any routine, sometimes it starts to feel like I’m Bill Murray living in my own personal version of Groundhog Day. Or rather Ground-Dog Day in this case. Same dogs. Same streets. Same squirrels always starting some mess they cain’t finish. I wave to the same neighbors at the same time every morning because my version of Groundhog Day has a limited Extras budget!

After a while, the daily rhythm becomes white noise and that’s when I like to spice things up. To do that I play POOP HOOPS - my personal street sport. After scooping a poop, if there’s an open trash bin in sight, I challenge myself to see how far away I can toss the bag and still make it in. It’s part sport + part sanitation service. My average is decent - think Junior Varsity level; so a call from the WNBA is out of the question.

It’s not all glory either. It takes guts. Guts to trudge over with the dog(s) in tow in a mutual walk of shame when I miss. Guts to grab the poop bag from behind the trash bin that’s landed on whatever ghastly objects happen to be back there. Guts to hold our heads up and move on, hoping no one else witnessed our agony of defeat.

It’s not glamorous, but it keeps things interesting. Because when you're doing the same loop with the same leash and the same four-legged clients, a little creative competition with oneself goes a long way. Next up: Squirrel Baiting! I’m kidding. Just seeing who's actually reading this stuff.

 

Puppy Protest!

 

Sometimes I get a dog that "puts on the brakes" during a walk - just plants their feet firmly on the pavement like a toddler refusing to leave the toy aisle! If they’re smaller dogs, no problem - I just pick them up, carry them a few feet, place them down and they're back in action like little wind-up toys.

The larger and heavier dogs...not so much! Some will stage a full-on protest like they’re fighting for better treat wages and longer cuddle breaks. They flat out refuse to do what's expected of them i.e. enjoying time outside, taking care of business, and checking out messages other dogs have left them. 

Some take it further by lying down and rolling over on their backs! There’s nothing I can do. It's a stalemate and a canine strike is imminent. All I can do is sit back down at the concrete negotiation table (or sidewalk), use belly rubs as a concession and hope they don't make me late for my next pet visit. Because seeing a bunch of dogs holding picket signs is not good for business.🐶

Al-CAT-traz!

Some cats are content with the comforts of home; sunny windowsills, a full bowl of food. Then there are the cats that plot their escape like they’re locked up in Alcatraz! One cat tried to bolt past me as I retrieved a package from outside. I grabbed his little fuzzy butt so fast I think he's still recovering from whiplash!

I'm always very careful when entering a home - one leg blocking the doorway as I enter slowly and carefully, always on high alert so as not to allow the cat a window of opportunity. It was my last visit for this one cat “Fluffy” who figured out my game after watching and learning my behavior all week long.   

On that last day she managed to slip past me! I quickly went after her. She stopped, sat down, turned around, and looked at me. I thought 'whew that was easy!' As I approached her slowly this little vamp quickly scaled the fence and walked along the edge towards the back and across on to the neighbor's backyard fence!

My inner Spider Man immediately kicked in and I was scaling that fence and gaining ground on that little sucker! There was no way I was gonna let this little fuzzy interloper ruin my track record of "zero losses.” Fluffy froze when she saw me coming. I was able to grab her and with one arm wrapped around her and one keeping me steady on the fence I managed to get her back inside. 

She gave me a hard ‘side-eye’ like I put her in solitary confinement. It wasn’t until after I left that I realized I had cuts and scrapes on my hands, arms and legs. And if you've never been 'side-eyed' by a cat, consider yourself lucky. It cuts deeper than a handmade shank by a feline convict.

 

License To Pill!

 

As a pet sitter, I pride myself on being prepared. I use what I’d like to think is a sophisticated Swiss Army knife-mode of field technology that would make James Bond’s "Q" jealous. Ok it’s just a pet sitting app. 

But it has fields for everything a sitter would need to know. For instance, there’s the Food section. Most clients give detailed info. ‘Tiger gets ½ can of wet food in the blue bowl at 8am.’ Then there’s Medication: ‘Fido gets an insulin shot at 7pm. Insulin is in the fridge next to what looks like a live science experiment but it’s not. Just don’t touch it.’

But some clients? Zero. Zilch. Nada. When I can’t get a hold of them via text or phone call, I’m left channeling my inner MacGyver!

“What’s this? An open can of tuna in the fridge? Is that today’s dinner or tomorrow’s breakfast? This crumpled note says, ‘Remember the meds.’ Okay, which meds? The blue pill or the red pill? Forget the cat; can I take one of each at this point?”

Sometimes it feels less like pet sitting and more like 007.

Bond Villain: “To survive Mr. Bond, you must determine how much kibble to feed Mittens. Too little and you’ll face the wrath of kitty toe-beans in your face! Too much and…well, let’s just say the litter box will self-destruct in 10 seconds!”

With just a little preparation and detailed information, I’ll have everything I need to properly and confidently care for your pet and maintain my sanity. Because while I love a challenge, I’d rather feel less like MacGyver and more like James Bond…License to Pill! 

Bad puns suck. But good ones are Money Punny! [see what I did there?]